GAMBLING IS VERYVERYVERYVERYVERY BAD FOR YOU, KKKKKKKK?????
GN was absent on the one night I was able to watch TT. This made me cry.
Waking up at the ungodly hour of 6am today, I was able to catch the early morning news on Channel 10. Let me just take this chance to condemn the other networks for depriving me of my morning newshour (this was very important when I worked) because for some strange reason they think I want to see more of the chirpy breakfast hosts prattling on about the concerns of mummies, battlers, the dear wittle children, terrorists and rising interest rates. I do not want to hear about Mikkaeyliah and her sister Breeohneey and the terrible time they're having because the bank foreclosed on their parents' outer suburban mcmansion that had been remortgaged to pay for the big car, the Christian school fees and big screen televisions for each room of the house. This sort of thing belongs on current affairs tv which does a much better job of it.
Also, Melissa Doyle, I know that you're currently streets ahead of the Shebeast on that other network, and you have every right to be smug for the few years you have left before someone younger, blonder and dumber (I know, hard to imagine, but it'll happen!) comes along to fill your role. Koshie, of course, will be retained, despite being bald, fat and fucking ugly. Accept it. But I digress. Please, Melissa, shut up about your family.
Anyway, the fine people at 10 informed me that GN had been arrested in Indonesia for a cannibalism story, which I vaguely remember being covered by 60 Minutes a few months ago. I know I saw promos about the ugly bloke heading up into the jungle, whispering in a manner that was meant to convey his sensible terror and awing bravery at the same time; it was cannibalism, wasn't it? Or am I thinking of the time he went into Kerobokan Jail? Difficult!
10 made sure to use a very unflattering picture of GN, and remind us that she dated a conman (nicely juxtaposed with a clip of her screaming shame to all conmen), left Beaconsfield for the Logies, had a clip air on Triple J of her swearing like a sailor and wore khaki and had a filthy lizard on her shoulder when Steve Irwin died. I like the network's fair and unbiased coverage of stories, particularly when they are peadophile or competing network related. Bravo, 10!
Now, about the gamblers. Once again the nation's battlers are being taken for a ride by poker machines. I believe the reporter referred to them as "electronic bandits". Yup, you heard it hear. Bandits. I, personally, think that pokies are a brilliant idea and I wish I had invested in the electronic bandits at some point. The only people they hurt are bogans and their family, unlike smoking which makes me cough and splutter when a rude person dares to light up in near me. Or, even worse, walks down the street in front of me puffing away on his ciggie. Hey, man I bumped into last week and knocked into a fence? It wasn't an accident, and I hope you get lung cancer. I don't recall much of the story, but there were whistle blowers, some very scientific tests and a whole lot of whinging bogans.
Hail to the electronic bandit!
Waking up at the ungodly hour of 6am today, I was able to catch the early morning news on Channel 10. Let me just take this chance to condemn the other networks for depriving me of my morning newshour (this was very important when I worked) because for some strange reason they think I want to see more of the chirpy breakfast hosts prattling on about the concerns of mummies, battlers, the dear wittle children, terrorists and rising interest rates. I do not want to hear about Mikkaeyliah and her sister Breeohneey and the terrible time they're having because the bank foreclosed on their parents' outer suburban mcmansion that had been remortgaged to pay for the big car, the Christian school fees and big screen televisions for each room of the house. This sort of thing belongs on current affairs tv which does a much better job of it.
Also, Melissa Doyle, I know that you're currently streets ahead of the Shebeast on that other network, and you have every right to be smug for the few years you have left before someone younger, blonder and dumber (I know, hard to imagine, but it'll happen!) comes along to fill your role. Koshie, of course, will be retained, despite being bald, fat and fucking ugly. Accept it. But I digress. Please, Melissa, shut up about your family.
Anyway, the fine people at 10 informed me that GN had been arrested in Indonesia for a cannibalism story, which I vaguely remember being covered by 60 Minutes a few months ago. I know I saw promos about the ugly bloke heading up into the jungle, whispering in a manner that was meant to convey his sensible terror and awing bravery at the same time; it was cannibalism, wasn't it? Or am I thinking of the time he went into Kerobokan Jail? Difficult!
10 made sure to use a very unflattering picture of GN, and remind us that she dated a conman (nicely juxtaposed with a clip of her screaming shame to all conmen), left Beaconsfield for the Logies, had a clip air on Triple J of her swearing like a sailor and wore khaki and had a filthy lizard on her shoulder when Steve Irwin died. I like the network's fair and unbiased coverage of stories, particularly when they are peadophile or competing network related. Bravo, 10!
Now, about the gamblers. Once again the nation's battlers are being taken for a ride by poker machines. I believe the reporter referred to them as "electronic bandits". Yup, you heard it hear. Bandits. I, personally, think that pokies are a brilliant idea and I wish I had invested in the electronic bandits at some point. The only people they hurt are bogans and their family, unlike smoking which makes me cough and splutter when a rude person dares to light up in near me. Or, even worse, walks down the street in front of me puffing away on his ciggie. Hey, man I bumped into last week and knocked into a fence? It wasn't an accident, and I hope you get lung cancer. I don't recall much of the story, but there were whistle blowers, some very scientific tests and a whole lot of whinging bogans.
Hail to the electronic bandit!
posted by Today Tonight at 4:52 PM
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