Yuck
What the fuck?!?!?!? I don't watch Australian Idol unless it's still on while I'm waiting for another show so when I read snarky recaps and laugh my way through the forums I'm doing so as a virgin viewer. Sure, I see the last few minutes when the two hosts exchange unfunny comments with the same, desperate look in their eyes that tells me they know their 15 minutes is almost up and obscurity is practically biting them on the arse. I also see the 5 second clips of each contestant warbling their way through the entire Celine Dion back catalogue, and I wince. I see just enough each week to have me throw up a meal or two and considering I'm getting a bit porky and am too cheap to pay for laxatives or some sort of lip stapling surgery, I consider it good viewing.
So, I switch turn the tele on at 8pm for The Simpsons and quickly realise that 10 has fucked me over again.
Observations:
Just because you can open your mouth and have a vaguely pleasing sound come out does not mean you can sing. I am a singer, and spectacularly unsuccessful at it, which I've come to accept, but I could do what any one of the contestants do with my eyes closed; which is why I've come to accept that I am a bad singer. I've clearly missed the awfulness of their performances to date but NONE of these fuckers can sing. They have shithouse pitch and drag out notes. Shithouse sense of rhythm too. Oh, and little hand gestures while you sing? Doesn't detract from your awful, AWFUL performance. Are the nation's tweens and angry loners so completely tone death that they cannot identify good and bad singers? Quit watching and voting; quit buying the cds and the mobile phone content that they're selling and the show will disappear.
Marcia is putting out an album. It is disco. Enough said? Probably, but while pimping it on the show the one with the unkempt hair asked her where she got the disco ball earring she was wearing on the cover. Marcia said it was photoshopped on. The one with the unkempt hair was disappointed as apparently the short one with the dog's arse face wanted some shiny disco balls of his own. The one with the unkempt hair didn't appear to notice what was implied in his joke. I doubt he ever, ever will. Idiot.
Kyle is retarded. not retarded as in a great big fuckingfuckwitcunt but retarded as in genuinely backward. His eyes say it all. As does his choice of phrase, and I quote "I realise how stupid some people are that live in the public". This was in relation to the choice of the bottom three. Yes, Kyle, you is so fucking brilliant and you is much smarter than what that public what live out there in the real world are. Give the man an IQ test, and prove me wrong!
I don't understand this show. There's no talent, most of the contestants are fucking ugly, the hosts are morons and the judges are... out of this world. We've established already that the "winners" have as much commercial success as Big Brother winners, and probably earn less. What is it that keeps people auditioning? What keeps the public paying to vote? I'm genuinely baffled.
So, I switch turn the tele on at 8pm for The Simpsons and quickly realise that 10 has fucked me over again.
Observations:
Just because you can open your mouth and have a vaguely pleasing sound come out does not mean you can sing. I am a singer, and spectacularly unsuccessful at it, which I've come to accept, but I could do what any one of the contestants do with my eyes closed; which is why I've come to accept that I am a bad singer. I've clearly missed the awfulness of their performances to date but NONE of these fuckers can sing. They have shithouse pitch and drag out notes. Shithouse sense of rhythm too. Oh, and little hand gestures while you sing? Doesn't detract from your awful, AWFUL performance. Are the nation's tweens and angry loners so completely tone death that they cannot identify good and bad singers? Quit watching and voting; quit buying the cds and the mobile phone content that they're selling and the show will disappear.
Marcia is putting out an album. It is disco. Enough said? Probably, but while pimping it on the show the one with the unkempt hair asked her where she got the disco ball earring she was wearing on the cover. Marcia said it was photoshopped on. The one with the unkempt hair was disappointed as apparently the short one with the dog's arse face wanted some shiny disco balls of his own. The one with the unkempt hair didn't appear to notice what was implied in his joke. I doubt he ever, ever will. Idiot.
Kyle is retarded. not retarded as in a great big fuckingfuckwitcunt but retarded as in genuinely backward. His eyes say it all. As does his choice of phrase, and I quote "I realise how stupid some people are that live in the public". This was in relation to the choice of the bottom three. Yes, Kyle, you is so fucking brilliant and you is much smarter than what that public what live out there in the real world are. Give the man an IQ test, and prove me wrong!
I don't understand this show. There's no talent, most of the contestants are fucking ugly, the hosts are morons and the judges are... out of this world. We've established already that the "winners" have as much commercial success as Big Brother winners, and probably earn less. What is it that keeps people auditioning? What keeps the public paying to vote? I'm genuinely baffled.
posted by Today Tonight at 3:14 AM
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